Maturing

Comes 2010, and I'll be 22 by the end of the year. With a niece and a nephew and one more upcoming by this year, more than not, 22 feels like an old age to come by. Also two friends of mine had just gotten married, which brings into question for myself, when is my time?

Once upon a youth, I actually planned further ahead from my current age. I'd envision that I'd enter university with a plan that once I graduate, I could look forward to building a family right away without a hitch and start searching for the stability and tranquility that everybody seeks in their life. Long story short, that planned kinda failed midway leaving me feeling like made to kneel down and boot kicked in the ass to a puddle of mud and then pissed upon. Worse is the fact that I'm still not over that plan and each day I'd recall it when I have nothing else in my activity box. Hell, once I'd even said to myself I might go single for the length of my lifetime, but that was when I was in preschool, when worry is not on the top of my plate.

If I recall correctly, my dad got married at 22, and pretty much I'd figure marrying early is the best thing that could happen in one's life. Marrying early = kids early = grandkids early without so much generation gap. The past like three or four years made me think a lot about my future self, seeing my niece and nephew grow quite unexpectedly to cute little toddlers. It kinda reminds me of my own childhood, and the more I think about it, the more I incline toward seeing if when I have kids of my own, how they'd turn out with my own label of parenting.

Some people may call it midlife crisis. It's kinda like missing your childhood when you know you have other responsibilities to tend to and you have to act tough even though the fact of the matter is you are dependent on others too. I don't know how my dad did it, but he was successful in his parenting.

I just hope sooner than later that I can find my perfect someone. Listen to me, I'm talking like some old chap. LOL