To Go or Not To Go?

My head has been messed up the last couple of days with the same constant question lingering in my temple. To either go back to Malaysia in the summer or not to.

Here's a summary of some of the basic reasons of why this is very conflicting to me and my interests:

• To go back

By definition, going back to Malaysia is spending time in Malaysia over the summer for about oh 3 months or so from mid-May to mid-August back in Shah Alam. I actually do have lots of things to look forward to, going back in that time period, observing my niece and nephew's growth, meeting with fellow family members and seeing that my sister-in-law will have a big tummy by then. Also, there is the consideration of having some reunions here and there, probably one with my Shah Alam old schoolmates and my classmates from Alam Shah (one that we are planning to have in Pulau Redang hopefully). Overall, it should be a relaxing vacation back home after the two years of learning here in the states, and about one more year to go before graduation.

• To stay

The opposite of the former, to stay in Purdue means that I have to spend time here over the summer holiday, probably having to take class or find some other activities to kill time. It's not all that bad because I plan to take a Summer Undergraduate Research Fellowship (SURF) for about 2 and a half month, getting paid about $3600 doing it, which then I can allocate for some trip to some nice scenic locations such as the Grand Canyon, that I've been wanting to take a hike and a picture of. Other than that, the money could then be spent on printing some of my pictures to be distributed to my family members and also some select few.

The thing is, if I chose to go back, $1500 needs to be allocated now in order to find flight tickets to go from Indianapolis to Kuala Lumpur, and if I chose not to go back, I know that I will regret my decision later on as summer holiday is actually a long and boring period of time that seems to extend forever. In that period of inactivity, I'd start to miss my family and especially both of my 'ubi' as I call 'em. I'd want to be a part of their life as they were a part of mine before I flew off here in 2008. But then, there are some parts of my life that I don't want to revisit once I'm back in Malaysia, which were some of the reasons I put off going back to Malaysia until I obtain my bachelor's degree.

So yeah, I'm basically conflicted now as it is. $1500 is not easy to make, but then again the proposition of $3600 sounds oh, so sweet. I definitely want to go to the Grand Canyon, but then again, the Pulau Redang outing with my Alam Shah friends also sounds awesome. And did I mention my two little 'ubi's?

~_~"