The Traveling Photographer

Today (technically yesterday...but what the heck...days are counted after gaps of sleep, not by numerical standards, in my opinion) has been one of those hooray days.

The exam I just had was fine, finishing ahead of time is always a good indication of that with all questions answered and time to spare. Life is becoming steady with known factors in place for the upcoming about 3-4 months. Also, I just finished making, ordering and is now waiting for my photobook shipment to my doorstep.

Since Fall of 2008, ever since I came here, I decided to take on a new hobby, trying to seek the perfect balance between light, shadow, colors and substance. I was introduced to my Nikon D90 on a Friday and has ever since that day tried numerously to find my own expression of identity. Fast forward 2 years from then, with my regular kit lens the 18-105mm VR and a normal prime lens 50mm f/1.8D, and a Kata DR-467 Digital Rucksack with my newly acquired Manfrotto 190CX Pro3 and SB-900, I currently have thousands of pictures and more than 50GBs of raw NEF pictures of my travel whilst learning experience here in the States.

And so I set forth trying to print the noteworthy pictures of my endeavor, but with inappropriate funds, I could never print all of the nice photos as poster prints. How do I go about this problem? Simple really.

I've heard once, that photographers of old would go about bringing their career to others with their photo portfolio, and not by digital copies or just showing their camera gears. They had to prove their worth by placing their results on the line. It was different back then, and still is different for the pros and the upstarts. More than not, many photographers here in the States still does thing the old way, with every single photographer who is out to make it for themselves building themselves a portfolio for a professional career ahead. That is very different as to how people perceive as being photographers back in Malaysia, where the biggest camera more often is associated with skill, which is actually uncorrelated in any sense. It is kinda like the purpose of photography is lost with everyone trying to catch on the bandwagon by showing off the larger portion of their body part (censored here, but you kinda get the notion). Malaysians care less about the art of light, of how it dances with each reflections and how it illuminates and glows with each diffraction, but care more only to the sense of who has the bigger gear. If I were to go on about this, I'm afraid that I'll go off topic, and so I'll reserve that for another rant space.

So, I am currently waiting for my photobook to be delivered at my doorstep, and yes, the book is aptly named The Traveling Photographer by dein|photography. It is my first photobook and it accounts to the sights that I caught my sight in Manhattan, New York along with a few captions describing my personal views on the play of light.

Here's hoping all that's well ends well.

Ex-Patriot

Irony.

Most of my past "future" plans seems to take a new form in and by itself. Circumstances change, options unravel, opinions differ. I changed.

Back in school, my utmost priority was get done with university so that I could have an income of my own and start living by my own will. A steady income, a secure job, a person to rely on, a contempt lifestyle...kinda like the American dream. I thought then and there that my path has been laid for the 5 years it needed me to get to that end point.

Funny how things have become. Lots of things have changed since then and I am setting my goals anew constantly. Where previously I never even wanted to go to graduate school, now I see it as an opportunity and a goal since I have none other as my utmost concern. Where previously I'd gladly come back to Malaysia to reside in, now I feel hesitant to go back knowing how liberal minded people are held back and change is negligible in the mentalities of the many. As pessimistic as it sounds, I feel that it is not worth it to even come to the States knowing that these issues will come up in my future.

It is like I am moving up dangerous rapids and I am only but a few who are in the same predicament. It is inevitable. This has made me think: why do I even bother doing my best, when all is just the way it is? There is no progress whatsoever, no changes for the better, only a constant player in the dynamic world. Why do I resist from being idle? Not to say that I will be idle because of this, but I hope to understand it and fortify myself with the understanding. I aim not to be one more rock or pebble in the base of the river, sitting silent amongst the moving waters, but at least be the entity that leaves its mark on the river as a whole, helping it change direction to be better and more efficient.

The declining learning age

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about education and mostly due to the fact that one day, I'll be educating the next generation (probably) and also need others to educate my next generation. This has got me thinking, since I will only be a portion of my future children's education, so how can I maximize my children's potential to become what I am or better than what my parents did to me?

Even though I have reached a conclusion long ago that the best place for me to stabilize and have a family in is and always will be Malaysia, I am starting to have doubts now due to some notions. The fact is, from my perspective, there always seem to be a hindrance as so far as education goes to back in Malaysia. I am unsure of what that hindrance is or whether it is just a preconceived notion, but while growing up in Malaysia, not a lot can be said about the educational atmosphere there as compared to the Western worlds. By that, I mean that most Malaysians don't see education as an interest, a hobby, an endeavor to pursue in, rather than a thing or task that they would gladly be done with and get money there and then.

This thought had gotten into me after reading an article about how the average Malaysians only read about a page of two of literature per year as compared to any other countries, and here literature means books, novels, not those entertainment magazines, tabloids and such. I remembered not too long ago in 2006 that I had a similar kind of question asked to me in my JPA scholarship interview. I was asked on how to cultivate reading into the current generation, to instill an interest of which our nation has not much of. It's kinda disappointing when I think about it, since I do like the excitement of learning new things, the thrill of discovering something new, the uplifting feeling I feel every time I managed to answer a homework, quiz and an exam question. It's kinda like an adrenaline rush.

I fear that for all of its development, Malaysia is just going to be a so-so country in the near future. I used to not understand the meaning of KBKK that have been implemented in the education system, but I kinda get it now. It's not that KBKK failed us, but more to we failed it. KBKK means Kemahiran Berfikir Kreatis dan Kreatif, which in another way means, the skill and ability to think outside the box. But as so far as the implementation goes, all I see in the SPM in the year 2005 was a direct question of the textbook or course material, and not something that is out of the box. I would say maybe the SPM standards are declining, or maybe we have declined as a nation, that we had to lower the exam standards in order to let most of us pass, kinda like how the bell curve works in normalizing peoples' scores.

We are mostly used to having information fed to us that we forgot to digest the information and apply it in other ways. Being a student in Purdue University has really helped me in seeing that. We flock to things that is not out of our reach and we mostly never challenge ourselves to be in an uncomfortable situation. That said, I am also afflicted by this and need to work myself out to be better. Hopefully, one day Malaysia's generation, not only the future, but also the current and past will realize this and reach a consensus to fully embrace knowledge as a part of an advanced culture. No more finger pointing, no more badmouthing, no more excuses and no more lies. Be what you can be and just do it.