... I feel empty inside, as if I have lost myself somewhere at sometime. I feel lacking in my own self, the one weakness that I cannot cure from past years. It might be a case of inferiority, but I believe I know myself better than that.
I am very, what I think is as, normal as compared to others, yet I am happy the way it is as is. My family is of middle-class people, and my siblings are local Malaysian graduates. And when I look at other students here studying abroad, most of their siblings are oversea students, unlike myself. I know my purpose being sent here in Purdue, to study and do my best after being sponsored by the people's money. And that is what I do best.
One of these days ...
... I look back upon the past 2 years as being void and empty as having to little to no meaning at all. Of course I can brag about my academics and life experiences here, though it kinda feels shallow because sometimes it just does not matter at all.
The years that have past felt as if they strolled by like a midsummer's breeze on an open grass plain. Another year has just swept by, providing its temporary coolness in the blazing heat, soon to die down as the clouds roll above the sky. Probably it's just because of the heat. The heat give thoughts of despair and anxiety, nulling my plans as to only think on how to escape the heat and skip the summer.
One of these days ...
... I want to hope for a long-lasting happiness.
One of these days, I just wish that I can look back and laugh it all off, or just shrug it off as a chuckle.
